THIS IS LIFE

The Hood will definitely be the end of me mwe! So I was in the hood trying to locate Bana K when I saw some commotion across the road. In true hood style I saw a steady crowd growing as everyone shameless rushed to Bana Yuz house. You may recall a few blogs ago I shared a story of the couple who lost their daughter and in grief the Husband threatened one of his in-laws saying he was going to report them to the dead child so that the child’s ghost could haunt him for disturbing him. Anyways that’s the couple that was responsible for drawing the fast growing crowd. This  couple is one that is well known for stirring drama. Bashi Yu,  as he is fondly called is the hero of the women's gossip club where his wife is a member. He usually buy Chat beer for them to drink as they gossip but he usually snaps at the slightest irritation. Whenever this happens he takes it to the streets where he does a dress down of these women. Today it appeared the person that made him lo...

Tales from the Hood I remember attending a burial at Chingwere and y'all know that attending a burial at that cemetery is enough to make you cry when you look at the state of affairs, anyway i digress. So tenze kumalilo yaba neighbour and for some reason there was no church service yet she went to church every Sunday. Oh i remember she hadnt remitted sufficient funds for the church book offering anyway her family could not afford to pay the arrears hence the church would not accept her as a member worthy of a funeral church service. Fast Foward, at the cemetery one of the relatives came with a Charismatic Pastor form a church that was not mentioned who preached the word in such convincing tones. The message was just right and from the looks of things every one was somehow touched as even the most hyper hoodlums quietened down and paid attention to the sermon. As we were all getting carried away with the sermon and entering the second heaven in spirit the pastor ...

My neighbour Chris was a bachelor who really liked lifting weights and intimidating everyone from the hood. He generally minded his own business and with a decent 6 pack and a step that said get out of my way he saw a lot of girls in the hood trying their luck with him. He generally turned them down and everyone assumed he must have had a hottie where he worked although no one ever really saw her. One gloomy February Night around 21 hours, Chris came home with company. Being my closest neighbour, i could here the merry music playing in his bachelor pad punctuated from time to time by some soft feminine laughter. As Chris shared his house with another guy I could tell that there were two ladies and three men in the house based on the voices i heard above the music. I continued reading my book the Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. As you know when I get hold of a Dan Brown book i can hardly put it down until i get to the end. The noise of their arrival had slightly disturbed me but after some t...

By Susan Mwape Farmers in Malawi have been introduced to a new way of acquiring agriculture information - interactive voice recording tool. The National Agriculture Development Committee introduced an interactive voice recording tool that enables farmers to access information on agriculture services. A joint team of Agriculture experts called the National Agriculture Content Development Committee (NACDC) begun a process of content development for farmers through Interactive Voice Recording (IVR). The Idea was to aggregate content onto one platform where farmers could find information covering extension services such as acquisition of seeds, crop harvest and marketing. Deputy Chief of Party, Strengthening Agriculture and Nutrition Extension. Dr. Clodina Chowa informed delegates at the INGENAES global symposium of the joint effort by Agriculture sector partners in Malawi managing the process. Dr. Chowa narrated how Agriculture and Nutrition partners have joined forces and b...

By Susan Mwape AFGHANISTAN’S dry lands are slowly turning greener for many families living in conflicts zones with the introduction of kitchen gardens – a concept aimed at enhancing nutrition and small-holder farming. The University of Maryland has over the past 5 years been engaged in a program aimed at building technical and teaching capacity to the Afghanistan’s Ministry of Agriculture, Irrigation and Livestock. The program dubbed “Afghanistan Agriculture Extension Project” is led by a consortium of five Universities based in the United States of America. The project targets 27 provinces and 193 districts of Afghanistan with the aim is to delivering effective and sustainable extension services to Afghan farmers. The project seeks to improve rural household food security and enhance agriculture-based income generation, improve nutritional status of target rural households and enhance support for women in the agricultural sector.  AAEP activities are implemented in p...

So today I was drawn to a memory of some of the shenanigans from the hood. It was a hot October Day in the 90s. The country was faced with a drought and there was no water in the hood we walked far to find water mostly to the industrial area, old and young we were forced to carry whatever container we could to come back home with water as anything made a difference. On that material day, there was a drizzle of water from the hood communal tap and word spread like wild fire that there was some water at the tap we all congregated at the tap and stood in line praying that the water does not run out and everyone gets a chance to draw atleast some drinking water. The hood is divided into sections and each section has about 20 households, at times when there were water blues representatives of a household represented their respective section regardless of whether they were in line or not. After weeks of not seeing water, tempers would easily flare at the tap. While we all sat an...

Today i had a recollection of the scariest day of nmy hood life. It all begun one morning when my mom got upset with me for not washing the dishes. I hated and still hate doing dishes simply because growing up as the youngest of two sister meant i got to do the dishes. I got to eat the wing part of the chicken (am not sure how i still love wings), I got to eat the top, head of the maize cob and many other things i just hated everything especially domestication. oh but i digress am talking about the scariest day of my life. Mom had a way of making you uncomfortable if you didn't do your chores she made sure she did every chore you should have done till you felt ridiculous and if you tried to do anything else she told you to leave it. Being a weekend i decided to go behind our house and chat with my neighbor, Amake Danny. Amake Danny was a fun woman who was married to a young man we grew up with in the hood called Mudala. He was one of the very first people who embraced the pr...

Today I just realised the month of April is coming to an end this week and here I am wondering where the time went and what I have tangibly accomplished well that’s a tale for another day but for now am going to a reflection on the month of April in th hood. 1 st April has always been a fun day for me as back as I can remember I always tried to make sure I managed to successfully fooled someone so much so that they would always remember. I would do it to my sister, brothers, friends even took a chance on the parents lol! But the “mother of all fools or even foolings as we called them was in 2011” . It was a very rainy year and that April, the streets in the hood were still waterlogged. I pulled a few tricks fooling everyone I could but was not satisfied with what I had accomplished I thought about my grandparents.  My grandparents too lived in the hood! There house was only 5 minutes away and I decided to take fools day to them. Before I share what transpired you nee...

By Susan Mwape and Nancy Handabile Speed dating, the internet, cosmopolitan (both the drink and lifestyle) make being a single lady in the 21 st Century a daunting feat. Half the time one walks the street or even sits in a plush and not so plush joint, conversation revolves around hubby this, dude that, my ex here bleh bleh bleh …. The talk goes on and don’t forget the; when are you getting married eyebrow raises (que in shot if tequila gold or sour apple). Everyone from your mother, grandmother, hairstylist, maid and the lady who sells chikanda wants you to be wed, and nicely (maybe they don’t even care if it’s that nice) tucked with a hubby by your side!!!!! A drive around the city on Friday (sometimes even from Monday) through Sunday is usually basked in sounds of hooters, cars nicely wrapped in ribbons (forget the toilet paper aka tissue especially now with the rains) of all colours, pretty ladies glittering often in shiny brightly coloured satin dresses (in awfu...

Often after the hustle and buzz of life comes to a halt, mostly when am all alone, the silence creeps in and it’s to real to pretend, I worry about myself. I worry about my sanity, about the decisions I make and have made in the past. I wonder if I have faith in things, things like love...  Life Offers Various Experiences (LOVE) is what a friend of my says about love. I know about betrayal and how it can permanently scare the pure element of faith in people. I know all about pain because in as much as we think of it most as physical and can monitor the physical pain heal, emotional pain is worse. I know how consuming anger can be I have been there but love, love and the things love does to people... I know all this because I have been through it; I have felt it all, known it to its depth and most importantly survived it. And yet am still uncertain as to whether I can comprehend love, the one thing that most people base their relationships. I have come to the realisation t...

In the hood, Maybin had been known as the man who had a slight limp and struggled to walk. The circumstances under which Maybin developed this condition were a never openly discussed but everyone gossiped and knew what had happened for juicy stories like that of Maybin’s plight travel faster than wild fire in the hood. Maybin was a fine but fierce looking young man whose profession was known by everybody including the young ones. He was Thief. The types that went out on rackets and stole big time stuff, not just a minor pick pockets or petty thieves. One day Maybin and his crew went to steal in town near Stanley Bar area but unfortunately he was caught. While his friends escaped within a whisky, he was beaten and tortured which led to the paralysis of his legs. As a cripple, Maybin seemed to have changed his ways. He was religiously taking his medication, going for physiotherapy and playing with the kids in the hood. They all loved him even their mothers seemed to warm up t...

It was a Monday morning around 07:00am when Banakulu (Grandmother) was seen in the hood slowly making her way to her tenants. Banakulu was a 68 year old woman who owned a house in the hood and lived in a different area. She usually sent here grand children to collect the rentals for her every moth. Everyone in the hood knows that when Banakulu shows face it meant only one thing, her tenants had not paid rentals and things would definitely go sour if they did not pay. As Banakulu approached her house, word had gone around like bushfire that Banakulu was in the area and everyone should brace themselves. Everyone started loitering outside their yards whilst trying hard to act busy and not look obvious that they were waiting to see what would happen next.  Even though news of Banakulu’s arrival in the hood spread at lightening speed it did not get to Bana Kasakula’s house fast enough for her to “take cover”. Banakulu with a stern expression walked straight to Bana Kasakula’s ...