By Susan Mwape
So I had the opportunity of going to what we call in my part
of the world a “Chezela”. This is simply a word derived from the term ku cheza which
means to chat so chezela means an endless chat that occurs over night into the
wee hours of the morning.
In Zambia where I come from the moment you hear people
saying am going to a chezela, it is synonymous with a series of events that
occur overnight by and among women initiating a young lady in a rite of
passage. Often this lady would be in the process of getting married and after
undergoing a series of counseling sessions, ranging from wellbeing, healthcare,
motherhood and home management by a team of women led by one called Bana Chimbusa.
The Chezela is the epitome of all that she learns but brings
in a diverse group of women of different ethnic groups who each share what they
know with the bride to be. It is usually a joyful celebration that marks the
end of her initiation into married life. It is characterized by endlessly
drumming and dancing by women who should be married themselves and or know and
contribute towards enriching the young lady’s knowledge and expectations of marriage.
Now don’t go asking me what this single lady was doing at a
private, closed door women’s only function. It all started with an invitation
from a friend who said “you know what my young sisters getting married how
about you come to the Chezela”. My response
was why but that wasn’t before I made sure I tagged a second friend along.
We got to the house at the height of the event, just before
midnight. The house was packed and as later comers we opted to stay on the
terraces. We got ourselves comfortable on the window just behind the drummers
who represented two ethnic groups.
The most fascinating thing for me was the unity that tradition
brought among women; it was interesting that women would get up comfortably get
up and strip. They would gyrate their waists freely before a room containing
more than 50 women ranging from age 18 – 100. For every move made, an elaborate explanation
on the interpretation was made to the potential bride who is forbidden from opening
her mouth to say thank you or ask questions. She is only permitted to mildly
clap her hands in acknowledgement.
Having conducted extensive research on girl’s initiation and
traditional ceremonies I could not help but notice the liberal way the event
was conducted. The drummers made it a point that they drum and sing as fast as possible
to get things over and done with. This to an extent erodes the value in the
teaching because every song has a message, and the speed of the drum determines
how one can dance and deliver their message to the young lady.
Further, there was no clear curtail of who could
participate, traditionally it was supposed to be a very closed door for people
who have experience in marriage life and can share a lesson or two. Even though
we think life has evolved I couldn’t help but notice that there still a lot of
teachings that advise women to be strong and enduring of the hardships that
come with marriage. This includes being responsive to the needs of your
husband. Made me wonder what the human rights activists would say.
All in all I had so much fun dancing to different songs and
drum rhythms while demanding interpretations of the songs and actions from my
friend. I must say I too learnt so much. We partied till 06:00am and the
highlight of the event for me was when the bride’s mother made a song request and
everyone just laughed and danced. I hastened to find my friend whom I asked to
translate the song for me and my jaw dropped when she did.
The song advised the young women to perfect her skill of
managing her husband even if he had a small penis. The idea was to know how to
use it more or less a case of it’s not about size. In as much as this was funny
I took time to reflect and I know you will agree that in life we take so many
things for granted and can be misguided by the stories we here from friends and
the media. At the end of the day it’s about you and what makes you happy and
how well you can manage within your means :)
Comments
Well written